Sometimes I forget that I'm pregnant, sometimes, it's all I think about. Lately, as I get closer to the end of the month, I keep thinking about it. A few days or so ago I started realizing that I REALLY am having another baby. He's for real coming. And I am so glad. I forgot about the last few weeks of pregnancy. The multiple pee trips all day and night, sore ribs, backaches when you've hardly done anything to feel you deserve them, and your oldest kid either jumping, kicking, or leaning on your protruding self. And did I mention nothing fits and however nice people may say you look you just don't feel it? I am ready for this to be over with. I really am.
But that's enough complaining, I just needed to get that out. There's so much I forgot about being pregnant. It really is a blessing. I'm so grateful to be able to carry this little man and meet him soon! It's weird to think about how everything is about to change. I love my routine with Kimball, and there are so many things that will be different after the baby comes. Sometimes I worry about Kimball, not so much that he won't like the baby or anything, but that he'll still feel loved and that I'll still have time to have the relationship I want to have with him. I'm actually really glad his birthday is right after the baby comes, because it will be a time for us to make sure he knows we love him.
And I'm sure everything will work itself out. After all, tons of people have had multiple kids and they turn out just fine. So I try not to worry too much. It's just weird to be here again. I can't help but think, "Am I really doing this again? Starting the whole process over? That's crazy" But yeah, I really am. And I really am excited. Not just for the pregnancy to end, but I can't wait to see this little man, especially since I already have Kimball. I wonder how they're going to be different, or the same, or how they'll react to each other, if they'll like each other... all that. At my last doctor's appointment, he told me that I was measuring small, and all the sudden it hit me... this kid is not going to be like Kimball! It was the first time I actually thought that and meant it. He's not going to be the same baby as I had two years ago. He's going to be his own baby, and grow up into his own person.
I love being a mom. I still don't think I've fully wrapped my mind around having two kids. Two boys! How cool, huh?
