I think I just get worse at blogging the longer I have this thing... Either way, I decided to update.

So first of all, I just want to say it's almost 10 pm, and I am exhausted! Is that what parenthood does to you? Knowing that I am going to be awake by AT LEAST 7:30 am, which isn't the worst time I've had to be awake, but who wants to be awake then? That probably sounds really pathetic to most people. So sorry for all of you productive people, who are, obviously, more productive than I seem to be, yes, I am lame.

I think that those of you who read this have the general "down low" (or whatever), on my life, so I won't share it all. We're happy and at least trying hard to be where we should be, if we're not in our "ideal" situation. Last night Jacob and I had actually discussed where we are in life, and I totally realized that I am not the best person that I could be. So I am going to try to be better. I remembered reading this artice from General Conference, and I'm spacing on who actually gave the talk, but he quoted President Monson saying (essentially),

                                "Fear not, for your future is as bright as your faith."

When I first read that it really touched me, made me feel like Jacob and I really could do whatever it was we decided, so long as we were doing all that we were in faith and with the guidance of the Spirit. And then we got to Utah, and things didn't work out how I thought they would, or how Jacob thought they would, and I quickly and easily let that thought slip through my fingers. And last night is when I finally realized that. After that, and a wonderful conversation with my amazing mother, who shared her words of wisdom with me, I realize that everything will be fine. That I need to deal with my problems with faith, not fear. The only thing that will accomplish for me is making me stressed out, and who needs that... So as of now, I am resolved to be of better faith, a stronger support for my husband, and a more tender and loving mother of my precious baby boy.